staying out days

these few days have been real madness. even like now, i'm blogging at REACH FSC. i feel so detached (ha, how apt from my blogger nick) from my family lah. but i think after this period, i'll be completely liberated from creative home, albeit only for the time when i will be off to Cambodia and Down Under.

creative home has been a real growing experience for me... working with nice people like uncle kiong and chin who really go all out to support us in our project makes me realise that at times when i become unnecessarily edgy, it's just not worth the effort. and of course, you get to work with no so nice people. and then you learn how to take things in stride. yesterday's midnight at scape was hilarious. kumaran and i were like laughing at each other while the other 4 were discussing matters. it all happened because there's a guy called "bang" from homeclub and they were like using it interchangeably with my name. and then, it sounded freaking obscene.

to be frank, i'm kinda like numbed to the fatigue already. sleeping for 3 hours for the past two days, freezing in the red bus yesterday and then tonight i won't be able to sleep for much (like again). hopefully, the creative people dont get me to stay over for monday night too.

today's jlpt was really wonky too, like i told my friends. section 1 (vocab) - half of the questions were okay, another half was russian roulette. section 2 (listening) - i dozed off. section 3 (grammar) - apparently, the section i felt most confident of. i'm mentally prepared for the worst, but if can scrap through a pass, it's a bonus after all.

and in fact during the jlpt, i was like smiling at myself. maybe because at my helplessness and partly at my attempt to script an interesting msn nick that somehow was reflective of my emotions for these few days. haa, i know i have grown out of that phase, yah but sometimes you just have the urge to drown yourself in a melancholic mood.

cause it takes more than being straight for me to straighten out my thoughts.

a thankful evening.

i'm so heartened at the way things have turned out this evening.

1) to jonathan especially for helping out with the attendance. my, i can't thank you more man. without you, i guess the whole attendance taking will be a disaster. thanks for your photographic memory in recognising the guests e.g. those from paragon. thanks for working throughout without dinner. thanks for holding the fort when i was absent.

2) to all bravo dudes that came and my ajc fac buddies. i'm so sorry if i'm a poor host but as much as i wished i could split myself, i couldn't. thanks for coming anyhow. despite promising you hot chicks and great booze - of which, neither materialised, i hope you enjoyed the performances that we've planned for the evening. sorry for the bland coke, haha next time open my own club, i'll ensure QC okay.

and maybe i'll do a run-through of my schedule too, as per usual. went with smu earlier in the day for a NS men jamboree. i think the whole jamboree is a farce man at least before the breakout session for our school talks. like girls wearing mini skirts, female dancers gyrating and what not. i do understand it's a sausage party but yah, we can do with less of the visual "distractions" or maybe as i've said, i'm like desensitised to such sights already.

at the smu talk, i had the great opportunity to talk with a 4th year smu student who was previously from 163sqn as an officer. talked with him about the challenges of even qualifying for an investment banking intern and then subsequently doing more than what was expected of an intern. frankly, he really demystify the preconceptions i had about investment banking and all. the imminent fate of landing at most in middle office, m&a, p&l, trading and derivates and all. i'd really like to be in thick of the moment. and it was wonderful that he got me started to think how i should pave my way ahead.

then at the pre launch, it was plain hectic. luckily, i stole time to ta bao some dinner with the "淑女". and not forgetting the suggestive eye signals aunt shanz was making at me when i met the gang along the way. it was nonetheless interesting talking with "淑女" about her change and all, since jc times. which leads me to wonder - why didnt i realise i needed to step out of my shell and change, like so much earlier? then i also caught up with jingwen (from sph) for like 20mins or so. imo, she's one of the nicest sponsors i've met. we chatted from zouk to journalism slants to the nuances in whole chain of pr/mar comm/a & p to even concluding that we have a common penchant for watching movies alone. she even kindly offered to help me if i had difficulties for my pr intern next year.

all in all, the creative home journey in itself has been taxing but nonetheless - rewarding (tangibly, intangibly, psychologically and emotionally). =)

late night *burp* supper

oh my. it's been a long time since i committed such an evil and sinful act - supper at prata house near my house. and if you're expecting a sequel to my previous entry. I'm very sorry, nope. No harry potter theme song and no guest appearances and definitely no freak encounters with god forbid * volder_ _ *

i met coco tan, my good old buddy for prata at arnd 10.30. we ate some oily loads of prata (actually only 2 x gosong) and downed them with teh tarik. we then walked to the playground and just sat on the swing and talked. it's really gratifying to catch up with your friends after such a long period of absence. yup, absence makes the heart grow fonder and perhaps emptier. ha. and so the topic started with him being in Sunshine Empire (SE). as much as the natural skepticism was acting up in me, i listened to him intentfully as he rationalise his presence in SE. all in all, in a capacity of a friend, i'll still reserve my trust in him as a trusted friend and a mature adult - i'll be truly glad for him if he does make it big and money roll in (maybe some to my pocket) and also lend him my help if things do go awry.

and then with the stars and moon smiling at us, we deviated to our future plans in life. then as we were speaking about our grandiose plans and all; the feeling that we have grown and mature so much, was just so liberating and all the more, poignant. it was as if yesterday that we were at the same old playground vexing about mundane misunderstandings, complex boy girl relationships (though they still pretty much are to me) and pretty much holding a astigmatic view of matters in life. yes yes, you may break out in a cynical laughter and in a condescending manner, say "ow wow... our benjamin here is starting to be flighty and disillusioned already"

my reply to you (barring copyrights from ac),
- the best is yet to be.

=)

How are YAH

i'm feeling kinda drowsy as i'm typing right now. must be the local anasthesia the missy administered on me, prior to donating blood hahahah.

anyway, i started the day with an interview with two pretty nice staff from the HPB because i wanted to join the YAH (youth advolution for health) exco. the session went on pretty fine and it lasted about an hour. will hear from them soon, i think. just hope that what i'm seeking will concur with what they need and will provide. but the entire exco team is like all from smu lah huh -.-

then shortly after the interview, i decided to donate blood at the bloodbank since i was alr in the area. went in there - all good. registration and screening was prompt, got attended to by missy in a jiffy and talked to her about my internship and apparently... her daughter -.-. dont how how she link also. then *plays harry potter background theme song* came lord volderMO. haaaha, what a place to meet him. previously, i met him at SAFRA yishun while signing up for a course. now at bloodbank.

where's next? Prata House?

lingering behind my wonderwall.

as i am typing this entry, i'm like half intoxicated and half wasted - eyes heavy, disoriented and somewhat conked out. what started out initially as a innocuous dinner for 8 163 SQN BRAVO personnels end up to be a chillout session at PATIO with rum coke, vodka red bull and vodka orange. like i've said, it's the "time of the month" for me when i just wallow in my emo state of mind. the blues are allllll i see mann.

LOL.

pardON MY CAPS, I CAN'T realLY SEe thE cAPS CLEARYL righT Now. anyway, it was great just chilling out with live music. maybe it's there to fill the void that's there eh. and so the BRAVO dudes went up to sing WONDERWALL and thaT YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE THAT SAVES ME.

AND DO YOU HAVE TO, do you HAVE TO, do yOU hAVE TO LET IT LiNGeR . . .

when 04th nov is a special day for more than one.

today was a long and hectic day for me. but to sum it in one sentence: it was worth all the while. and it so started with our ch meeting on friday, as blogged about days ago. and so i thought i did something special to make someone's day. especially since the last time i did such a thing was like in jc2? yes, yes, suggestive or not. i reserve my comments (pardon my somewhat limited lexicon) . like what i told my friend, i'm a poor manager of my emtions and actions. sometimes to the extent of acting irrationally and rashly. but i think i did something positive this time.

anyway this was what i did. ytd night, i wrote some simple greetings on a card and placed an envelope in the card. then this morning i went to my friend's house and left it in her mailbox personally. and then i wrote a mysterious weblink for her, of which i created the night before. all in all, i'm glad she was overjoyed though it was after all a contrived attempt at a vicarious experience.

later on in the day, i was at the julia gabriel's festival at orchard forum to present my essay for a contest. glad that i earned some much sought after dough and vouchers. and my recent enthusiasm towards the toastmasters which was amplified by rj during the absd survey was somehow evidently much warranted for when i saw the many young children present their essays. they were like so natural public speakers and they somehow crave and enjoy the attention on stage. but i'll work towards that, i've grown from being apprehensive to speaking with minimal kinks now. let the final step be speaking to connect, educate and inspire.

also, there were several insignificant incidents that failed to be fodder for this entry. but i'll still mention them briefly with pictures...

both are just personal ego boosters or rather placeboes, for that matter. for the latter - right, i know it's a downright scam to cheat celeb-wanna-be of their hard earned money for some makeover package. but it's just plain gratifying to sometimes lie to yourself that you dont need "baby ass smooth skin or model hot bod" to be approached by some conmen.

and i'll end my entry soon if you already impatiently awaiting the end of this long tunnel.
jc asked me some intriguing and thought provoking questions.

1) why is it that people born on the same day can have so different character?
my answer: because we are different.

2) why has the batch of us (crewmen) drifted so far apart especially when we have ord or about to ord?
my answer: because we are just too different.

birthday @ creative home.

today's creative home meeting was kinda different. sheila had this new hairstyle that looked made her look like a japanese doll (nin gyo, iirc). oh, and we celebrated her birthday since it was around the corner. then she carried a sesame street oscar doll and took a photo. like a doll holding a doll -.-

anyway... as far as i remember, birthday celebrations wasn't really much of a culture in boys' school (or maybe for my circle of friends lah). my days of schooling in 10 year's of boys school was brash, lackadaiscal and plain... brainless. like smearing chilli sauce on your shoe soles and leaving your victorious imprint on someone else's uniform. messing up someone's nicely gelled up "kali pok" hairstyle into mee goreng. tactically and strategically "bio-ing" at "bio-able" female teachers. ha, some of these acts have followed me on in the later parts of my life while others have been relegated to days of yore. as to which is what, i leave it to your imagination. right, now someone is acting coy.

and back to sheila's birthday celebration. me, her and crispin were like waiting for a cab opp. funan. then we were poking fun at cris in his "pursuit of happyness" (an internal joke) then somehow the topic fell on me and i was asked by sheila whether i have found the right one. maybe, she should ask whether 晴晴 has found the right one instead. lol, i was stunned like for a moment. then while she said "the most ideal kinda lover is the kinda that you were qing mei chu ma with and will marry eventually"

and then i replied, "yup, i'm also looking for her"