bitten by the love bug (again), and *ouch*

pohly pocket poh sent me this mv even though my one hell of a jj-lin fan sister bought it from the crazy cornetto royale promotion. and yes, watching the video makes me want to fall in love (again) - again, not as in i have fallen in love and want to fall in love again but rather i have the desire to fall in love again. okay, balderdash. i still remembered vividly my classmate's msn nickname during our j2 valentine's day - " Love is in the air... But it sucks when you're not one of the pair"

how very apt. lol, nvm i believe my 晴晴 is out there waiting for me. stop seeking high and low, give me a call okay? i'll meet you straight away. no qualms.

sowing seeds.

i'm so glad i'm blogging on a monday morning because this means that i've survived yet another extremely hectic week. rushing from one locality to another like a headless chicken, not having enough time for meals and stealing some snooze on the bus whenever i can. but i must say, i'm feeling rather fufilled this time.

we had our facilitators' workshop yesterday at nyc, scape. initially planned for 25 facilitators, but only around 15 turned up. but well, if you ask me, the numbers are not indicative of anything at this stage yet. to be frank, they were quite "coagulated" in their cliques and all. however after we had a sharing with Mr. Martin Tan, everyone started to open up and the slab of ice turned into a melting pot.

if you havent already know, i like reading self-help books because contrary to common belief, self-help books arent just quick fixes to problems you face... they explain the workings behind human relationships and delves deeper into what is not readily apparent to many of us. and in my usual fashion, i'll share something that i've read. there can be two ways of deriving happiness - working towards attaining a goal and helping others derive their happiness. i.e. it's the pursuit of happiness and assisting people in their pursuit that can make you happy.

with my own readings and martin's questioning during his inspirational speech, i have suddenly found a direction ahead. ask me about it and i'll tell you :) and as it is, i'm extremely excited with the propsect of growth (not in the physical sense, dudes.) in our project. i've had a girl who joined our project because she said she wanted to be a more sociable person and that she want to walk out of her shell. and i was assuring her that there will be tremendously many opportunities for her to walk out of her comfort zone.

now, i've realised there's indeed nothing more empowering and fufilling than to witness self growth and helping others grow.

leftover shotgun shells.

of late, i made some rather rash and tactless decisions even though with no genuine malice intended, i was misconstrued... tension rose, relationships sour and i realise that i really need to recollect myself since i tend to become easily unsettled at times. someone told me the fact that we are already young adults and we need to understand that our actions have considerable consequences. how fearfully true. approaching quarter life crisis and i'm glad i was jolted out of my guileless playground, though in a way that brought about reprisals and much ill sentiment. what hefty tuition fees i paid to my tutor - Life.

that being said, i realised that it really takes more than compromise and accomodation for team dynamics to work out. of course being in a millitary context as conscripts, we all come in with different mindsets and live our short-lived stint with different objectives. hence, it's almost impossible to align our values and actions i.e. there are definitely more differences that exist between us than commonalities. all in all, maybe i've just grown more acquiescent and jaded. now, i just look forward to cambodia yep to find myself again and my aus vacation to pick myself up for my life ahead.

and from now till then, maybe i'll continue to look for my first love ha...