let it be.

too many entries,

pondered, scribed, proof read but never published.

too many ideals,

crafted, manifested, exhilarated but never realised.

please, help me to... reconcile.
(prays dearly)

i'm cracked and incomplete...

Read something motivational at sgforums that i thought was worth the sharing.

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the House, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of it's own imperfection. And miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you. I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path,but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw. So I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house?

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got
to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life.

and i remembered, i read an article by corrinne may about celebrating diversity.

therefore i shall continually tell myself,

"down with homogeneity and conformity, it's now i do what i want and have to"

let's start from here.

solace, release or escape?

having downed about 5 mugs of beer and completed a seemingly unending application for the spring scholarship, it's a wonder i can still be here blogging.

before i go into this posting proper, i have to routinely recap on my life lest age catches up with while memory falls far back behind me. nothing really major took place this week except an interview with tnp on mon and YAH recruitment @ RP on wed and thur. recruitment was much more pleasant and bearable with the nerdy and chirpy girl a.k.a. Felicia. had a great time yakking with her over a plethora of topics at the "booth" and over lunch. but a slip of the tongue made me reveal some of my unglam past lah! (sshhh)

and to the posting proper. today was another day of work as a sales rep. i really relish the flexibility and opportunity to meet business owners and to pitch to them. but i believe the greatest takeaway is being fed with so many insights and advice from them about their entrepreneurial challenges in their respective industries. only and (perhaps, the biggest) drawback - many of my prospects haven't been 'closed' because they are unsure of the efficacy of the advertising platform i'm promoting since it hasn't been launched, as yet. * bummer *

in the evening, i met up with my secondary school scouting buddies - seng and ey. walter and nick was supposed to join us at timbre only later then, but i left early. given the fact that i haven't seen them since j1 years, it was somewhat a warm get-together nonetheless, reminiscing about the good ol' times we had in scouting.

after a simple zi char dinner, we stepped into a pub called 'Club Instinct' along purvis street. not that it had appealed to our senses or instincts, but we went there largely because of the cheap drinks as my friend was a regular there. none of the fanciful or over-the-board decor or music, instead the background music alternated between chinese and canto pop in a simplified setting.

and so we dropped our physical burdens i.e. bags and what not (but probably still laden with emotional ones) and got ourselves started with a jug of tiger. as i was savouring the bitter malt with its crisp aftertaste, i glanced around. a few guys sat in front of the bar with their only companion - alcohol.

i then returned to conversation with seng and ey. we caught up on each others' lives and occasionally seng went out for a puff or two. and ey told me seng is always the happy-go-lucky big brother that will be all ears for everyone else's problems but doesn't ever impose on or let others into his untold difficulties. perhaps with the exception of nicotine and alcohol, that are privy to or rather acquainted with his inner world.

i did attempt to "deftly" pry open the can of worms thinking that the onslaught of alcohol would come in handy, but seng just laughed it off when questioned. in the end, i succumbed to the resigned realization that maybe ignorance is bliss after all. looking at the many wearied souls around me once again, i wondered what kind of place does alcohol has in their lives and mine.

and somewhat in a contrived manner these few sentences insidiously came to my mind,

plagued with differing struggles,
congregated yet with a common resolve,
hence typifying a solace, release or escape?

then again, it could really be the tiger at work.

good night.

' teach me how to let it go'
- a random picture taken at *scape -

*hugs*

this was what was screened during the workshop i attended yesterday. a simple gesture that's so uniting given the fact that we are growing physically distant when we are becoming increasingly connected.

so when was the last time i've met up and had a good chat with you?

overwhelmed in a day.

it's been quite some time since i last blogged. took a short hiatus from blogging perhaps my life hasn't seen much of a breakthrough or major change lately. fortunately i won first runner up for 'green wall' and waiting earnestly for my n73 though japan airlines (jal) scholarship was a bummer ): but i'm hoping makiko san can be my coach for a japanese speech competition that i'm intending to join! dai jyo bu yo. sou ka.

and today i've started my sales job officially. it's been an enjoyable and challenging experience for me. went to central on a shop to shop basis, asked for contacts or pitched directly when the decision makers were around. pitched 3 times on my first day, am satisfied. hope it'll be a close, while i wait to follow up. *fingers crossed*

was really one hectic and exciting day too, to speak of. after sales for say slightly more than half of the day, went to halogen to settle accounts with junn again. in fact, i dread going to halogen for the purpose of creative home accounts. but knowing and learning from junn is an experience altogether. from stammering on the phone while speaking to her initially to periodical meetings with her to update the accounts to knowing her on a deeper level and being invited to her wedding. really learnt a lot about accounting from her, at least in the practical sense.

after that, i met this middle-aged guy who interestingly started talking with me at the B2 of some old shopping centre. his conversation went,

him: "do you work here"
me: "no, i don't. i happen to have a meeting around the area. hah, why do you ask?"
him: "my wife said this area has quite a lot of gays and one tried to hit on me."
me: *tried my best not to be skeptical about this and to suppress my raised eyebrows*

and then we parted. then i went to mac to chill out and consolidate my leads. then this guy came and i smiled. so we ended up talking for the next 20mins or so. and i got to learn that he's actually the district director of alexandra aia. then his friend came and he talked with him. and ended up i talked with his friend for another 15mins and he was sharing with me opportunities to be part of a MNC that does the sales & marketing campaigns for various industries.

and to wrap up the day, i headed to smu with kenneth (oh) for a workshop by eric feng again on 'how to become a people magnet, building a personal network you can count on' hah, it's hard to find like-minded people of my age that are interested and willing to invest money and time in themselves. and im glad he shared this lobang. thanks bro.

i wouldn't say it's totally content packed. certain things taught are readily apparently but not readily practised on a daily basis. learnt about networking, improving inter personal relations, business networking and even how to create a name for yourself in whatever line you intend to embark on. was definitely worth the price i would say.

and we ended with a "free hugs" activity, was a v sweet parting gesture. and i met so many cool people. 3 people from Walton which I happen to know of the land bank investment opportunities from Edgeworth. 1 wealth management consultant, software engineers, bank sales consultant, fengshui consultant, telemarketer and what not. also, this lady who looks amazingly young to be a lecturer for culture & comms at RP. hah, have touched base with her and hopefully will catch up next week at RP for YAH recruitment :)

most interestingly, i met this lady who's also into volunteering and social enterprise! well i've been always been passionate about the prospect of setting up a social enterprise and micro credit facility in a 3rd world country. and when she told me she and her friend are intending to set up a micro enterprise facility in myanmar, my face lit up! and it brightened up a few more watts when she was looking for partners too. hopefully, one of my dreams will take off soon.

till then, let me immerse in the excitement and dynamism of this stage of my life.

~ Carpe Diem.


* so sorry for being so narcissistic >.<"
i didn't mean to be a killer, at least not a narcissistic one to start with.

it has, once again

this song has once again, found it's way to my heart.



and when silence can be deafening too.

why my own?

freedom.