my first aunt passed away last week and just yesterday i was at the columbarium at guang ming shan with my family and immediate relatives. in fact, i was also there to be part of the chantings for the dead on saturday night. to be frank, i am not very closed to this first aunt of mine. but this incident made me realised my usual rather fragmented extended family (meaning my aunts, uncles and cousins) arent that distant afterall. i didnt really cry and my elder sister always say i can always maintain my composure or put it in a crude way - i'm callous. but that aside, i witness the softer side of my relatives that attended the wake.
i guess my grandma was the most affected one. imagining sending your own daughter off or rather what the chinese say "bai fa ren song hei fa ren" it's not frequent that you see one's eyes red swollen and teary but it kinda hurts my heart to see such a scene too. fortunately my grandpa who's in an old folks' home isnt informed as he's suffering from mild dementia. maybe it proves the adage - ignore is bliss, is true afterall.
when the floodgates break open, tears just keep pouring.
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