haha... i've been issued with an ultimatum just today. and the consequences arent terribly pleasing to a National Service Fulltime whose freedom hinges on what little days of freedom and blithe he already has. sometimes, it make me wonder if all these threats and the final whammy - the ultimatum, is hardly necessary? i thought if we could perform our nation defending duties well and good, we should have a relatively "enjoyable" and "peaceful" time? but it seems, the title of my blog - "as if, my life has stalled..." still has its relevance after all. *pats myself on my shoulders* ha.
but on the other hand, maybe things arent that bleak as i construe it to be. one thing for sure, the jadedness in me is dragging me down lol. i'm just a paradox and freak of nature. like i dont really understand myself at all. maybe no one does still.
i read my friend's blog just some time ago.
she asked, "what makes you happy?" it's somewhat rather rhetorical from the banal "getting your A's after your months of slogging" to the ambitious "landing yourself in an i-banking job" to the rather random "gratification from having sex"
you tell me. ha. while i try to unravel what the word "happiness" entails.
=)
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
silly quelf.
geez! i'm back from a 22/04 class gathering. today was a long and hectic day for me and everything prior to the gathering really drained me. and with the less than pleasing turnout from the guys (bunny overseas hol, chris route march, boss pungseh, hao ge and kelvin mia) i thought the gathering wasn't going to be a fantastic one. however, it was one of the better class gatherings we had.
let's see. i booked out from tekong like 10am. rushed to j8 and bought myself a pants, boots and socks by 11.30pm. was supposed to meet billy lee at singapore cricket club by 12.30pm. well i really have to thank my mum for getting me this contact. he introduced me to the rotary club (raffles city) when i went there, it's really like an exclusively "rich men club" over lunch, i was introduced to the director of the rotaract club (meaning rotary club for the younger adults below age 30) and several other renowned rotarians or so they call themselves. it was certainly very intriguing listening to these people share about their projects and experiences. more so with the fact that they are professionals in their respective vocations - lawyers, dentists, consultants, ceos and what not. billy lee told me he's semi-retired, but he's on the board of the director of 7 public listed companies. he also used to be the ceo of sembawang corp. -_- like omg.
but one thing that i felt was especially poignant to me was the advice he told me "it's not about what you know but about who you know" i realised i dont belong to the scholar calibre, neither will i content to be a farmer for the rest of my life. therefore, i really need to network and differentiate myself.
after that, i met up with my ex college mates. some of them changed so drastically that i couldnt even recognise them lah. like huiyi, i thought hey who's this girl? new classmate arhs lol. we have girls becoming more feminine, more demure and more attractive lol. but guys arh, still same pattern i think. we played several board games within our group of 10 (3 guys, 7 gals) like truth or dare jenga, quelf and saboteur. but half of the time, my mind was shut off because i only got like 3-4h of sleep during duty. lol. but nevertheless, it was damn hilarious to look at us do our silly forfeits like "one-eyed mimes", "playing invisible piano" and the infamous "omg, shit is coming, quick run!"
all in all, it's good times teasing my friends, linking them up with their dream half lol. it's amazing that for some of these people, i never really talked to them during college times. it's only when we meet up once in a blue moon, that we reminisce the good old days. :)
let's see. i booked out from tekong like 10am. rushed to j8 and bought myself a pants, boots and socks by 11.30pm. was supposed to meet billy lee at singapore cricket club by 12.30pm. well i really have to thank my mum for getting me this contact. he introduced me to the rotary club (raffles city) when i went there, it's really like an exclusively "rich men club" over lunch, i was introduced to the director of the rotaract club (meaning rotary club for the younger adults below age 30) and several other renowned rotarians or so they call themselves. it was certainly very intriguing listening to these people share about their projects and experiences. more so with the fact that they are professionals in their respective vocations - lawyers, dentists, consultants, ceos and what not. billy lee told me he's semi-retired, but he's on the board of the director of 7 public listed companies. he also used to be the ceo of sembawang corp. -_- like omg.
but one thing that i felt was especially poignant to me was the advice he told me "it's not about what you know but about who you know" i realised i dont belong to the scholar calibre, neither will i content to be a farmer for the rest of my life. therefore, i really need to network and differentiate myself.
after that, i met up with my ex college mates. some of them changed so drastically that i couldnt even recognise them lah. like huiyi, i thought hey who's this girl? new classmate arhs lol. we have girls becoming more feminine, more demure and more attractive lol. but guys arh, still same pattern i think. we played several board games within our group of 10 (3 guys, 7 gals) like truth or dare jenga, quelf and saboteur. but half of the time, my mind was shut off because i only got like 3-4h of sleep during duty. lol. but nevertheless, it was damn hilarious to look at us do our silly forfeits like "one-eyed mimes", "playing invisible piano" and the infamous "omg, shit is coming, quick run!"
all in all, it's good times teasing my friends, linking them up with their dream half lol. it's amazing that for some of these people, i never really talked to them during college times. it's only when we meet up once in a blue moon, that we reminisce the good old days. :)
Saturday, June 09, 2007
本来
yup, i haven't been adding new content to this personal virtual diary of mine for the past few months. and i am uber glad that there's an auto save function for blogspot right now. it's like the panacea to my cranky ie that crashes ever so often. anyway, that's besides the point.
if you haven't already know, i just returned from a mountain climbing trip to mount belumut. like any typical reach activitity, there's bound to be lotsa takeaway for me - both tangible and intangible. maybe that's precisely the reason i'm still volunteering actively in this organisation. on the whole, this expedition really made me realise that there's always a fragile moment in everyone. i witnessed guys and gals that still slip and off along the track and there came my helping hand! ha. and i thought human beings arent that infallible anymore. we are made to be dependent in some way or another. if not, it only nullifies the existence of friends and families that form the core of your support network.
we washed up under the rapids at the waterfall. i tell you... the feeling of the fresh water gushing down on you that threatens to wash your shorts and underpants away while you cling on precariously onto a vine was one one of those feelings that made me feel alive, really alive. in the process of the trip, i was talking to this good friend of mine about the deeper nuances in life. like how we so conveniently numb ourselves with our work or school routine that we forgot the presence of mother nature. anyway, we concluded that any getaway from our routine makes good times ha. conquering mount belumut, the following day we shopped at jusco and ended our trip with a go-kart racing. another mind blowing experience when i experienced the nerve wrecking process of "drifting" albeit with a 80cc kart only lah.
but i guessed the highlight of the trip was a late night sharing at the mount belumut campsite. only 5 of us were gathered at a campfire while the others were snoozing away in their tentages. we talked about everything under the sun from religion to the meaning of life to sexuality etc. then there was this girl i had a fancy for since the philippines trip last year who was within the 5 of us at the campfire.
in front of the other 2 girls and a guy, she asked me "ben, did you like me in philippines since last year?" i was like gosh. shouldn't i be doing the questioning instead. and the rest of the conversation was history as i realised we were not meant to be after all. after the trip, i thought to myself what a failure i am. a girl who's 2 years younger than me, can be so frank and forthcoming about her feelings and all. me? in the past, i had a crush on my classmate in jc but i only had the courage to talked to her through the net and over the phone. when she was with her clique, i darent even talked to her let alone know how i felt about her. this time, i made seemingly abit of a progress. during our trip last year, i spent some personal moments with her at the mountains taking in the scenery there. but eventually when i had planned to make known my feelings to her at the airport, i chickened out. i threw in the tower. i waved the flag to surrender... in cowardice.
and so i thought, when can i ever face up honestly to my feelings. sometimes, it just feel so bad to let everything get pent up inside. i can pour out my emotions and thoughts to my close friends and aunt agonies but eventually i'm still just stucked within this shell... for long. but i'm glad she took the initiative to clear the air, if not i'll be clinging on unrelentlessly and hopefully. i'll pick myself up and get my priorities (SATs, JLPT, NYAA etc.) right... once again. believe me.
来不及了
长长的简讯对象
已经不会是我
* please ignore my ranting because i just have to *
if you haven't already know, i just returned from a mountain climbing trip to mount belumut. like any typical reach activitity, there's bound to be lotsa takeaway for me - both tangible and intangible. maybe that's precisely the reason i'm still volunteering actively in this organisation. on the whole, this expedition really made me realise that there's always a fragile moment in everyone. i witnessed guys and gals that still slip and off along the track and there came my helping hand! ha. and i thought human beings arent that infallible anymore. we are made to be dependent in some way or another. if not, it only nullifies the existence of friends and families that form the core of your support network.
we washed up under the rapids at the waterfall. i tell you... the feeling of the fresh water gushing down on you that threatens to wash your shorts and underpants away while you cling on precariously onto a vine was one one of those feelings that made me feel alive, really alive. in the process of the trip, i was talking to this good friend of mine about the deeper nuances in life. like how we so conveniently numb ourselves with our work or school routine that we forgot the presence of mother nature. anyway, we concluded that any getaway from our routine makes good times ha. conquering mount belumut, the following day we shopped at jusco and ended our trip with a go-kart racing. another mind blowing experience when i experienced the nerve wrecking process of "drifting" albeit with a 80cc kart only lah.
but i guessed the highlight of the trip was a late night sharing at the mount belumut campsite. only 5 of us were gathered at a campfire while the others were snoozing away in their tentages. we talked about everything under the sun from religion to the meaning of life to sexuality etc. then there was this girl i had a fancy for since the philippines trip last year who was within the 5 of us at the campfire.
in front of the other 2 girls and a guy, she asked me "ben, did you like me in philippines since last year?" i was like gosh. shouldn't i be doing the questioning instead. and the rest of the conversation was history as i realised we were not meant to be after all. after the trip, i thought to myself what a failure i am. a girl who's 2 years younger than me, can be so frank and forthcoming about her feelings and all. me? in the past, i had a crush on my classmate in jc but i only had the courage to talked to her through the net and over the phone. when she was with her clique, i darent even talked to her let alone know how i felt about her. this time, i made seemingly abit of a progress. during our trip last year, i spent some personal moments with her at the mountains taking in the scenery there. but eventually when i had planned to make known my feelings to her at the airport, i chickened out. i threw in the tower. i waved the flag to surrender... in cowardice.
and so i thought, when can i ever face up honestly to my feelings. sometimes, it just feel so bad to let everything get pent up inside. i can pour out my emotions and thoughts to my close friends and aunt agonies but eventually i'm still just stucked within this shell... for long. but i'm glad she took the initiative to clear the air, if not i'll be clinging on unrelentlessly and hopefully. i'll pick myself up and get my priorities (SATs, JLPT, NYAA etc.) right... once again. believe me.
来不及了
长长的简讯对象
已经不会是我
* please ignore my ranting because i just have to *
Monday, April 16, 2007
love is but an expensive and effortful affair
blogging in camp when i will be stucked in lim chu kang camp II for the whole week since i'm not on tekong duty. ever since my last post on april's fool day with a picture that struck a deep chord within me, i havent really had anything significant to blog about. but i guess, there's always a need to maintain a channel to release my pensive thoughts.
anyway yesterday, i was out with coco tan and old quek. actually it wasnt exactly a meetup since we only went for a brief lunch and was engaged in a love mission. you see... coco tan was celebrating his one month anniversary with his new found lover (half). and so he was showing us a hand made collage of their "memories" but the not so pleasant revelation was that his photos in his collage were falling off. and so after having our very brief lunch, we proceeded to popular to get some glue and scotch tape for some emergency tasking - to ensure that the collage was repaired in time for coco's meeting with her significant half to movies and a date at the night safari. and so in my usual jest, i was suanning him all the way e.g. " i want to go to night safari, but no one wants to go with me :(" and etc. you know it. old quek was even more hilarious, he blewn 2.5k in soccer betting because it seemed all too tempting to just up the ante when you don't see the cold hard cash in transaction. seems like his officer's salary has been put to pretty "good" use =X
back tracking to another day before... on saturday. we had a vertical marathon at tpy but although it was organised by me, my role seems to be downplayed :( not that i'm a power hungry individual but i guess recognition is one tangible motivation. but it's alright, i believe the opportunities ahead are plentiful. after that, i attended a "BREAKOUT! BE A TOP ACHIEVER" seminar at suntec. in retrospect, i felt that the $190 spent on the workshop was more inspirational than informative lest the first portion on memory tips like pegging. the other segments of the seminar entailed building meaningful relationships and conquering your destiny. i realised that i'm a confrontational person when it comes to managing conflicts. shan't elaborate about that.
most meaningful take away from the seminar was definitely from the last segment... because i have learnt to...
- celebrate what's right in the world and to truly believe in it so i will be able to see it materialising eventually.
up ahead, i guess there's many more challenges coming my way like my fundraising issues. i'm thorned between implementing one effective and impactful fundraising affair. just hoping everything will come clear to me as time goes by!
but no, it has to!
anyway yesterday, i was out with coco tan and old quek. actually it wasnt exactly a meetup since we only went for a brief lunch and was engaged in a love mission. you see... coco tan was celebrating his one month anniversary with his new found lover (half). and so he was showing us a hand made collage of their "memories" but the not so pleasant revelation was that his photos in his collage were falling off. and so after having our very brief lunch, we proceeded to popular to get some glue and scotch tape for some emergency tasking - to ensure that the collage was repaired in time for coco's meeting with her significant half to movies and a date at the night safari. and so in my usual jest, i was suanning him all the way e.g. " i want to go to night safari, but no one wants to go with me :(" and etc. you know it. old quek was even more hilarious, he blewn 2.5k in soccer betting because it seemed all too tempting to just up the ante when you don't see the cold hard cash in transaction. seems like his officer's salary has been put to pretty "good" use =X
back tracking to another day before... on saturday. we had a vertical marathon at tpy but although it was organised by me, my role seems to be downplayed :( not that i'm a power hungry individual but i guess recognition is one tangible motivation. but it's alright, i believe the opportunities ahead are plentiful. after that, i attended a "BREAKOUT! BE A TOP ACHIEVER" seminar at suntec. in retrospect, i felt that the $190 spent on the workshop was more inspirational than informative lest the first portion on memory tips like pegging. the other segments of the seminar entailed building meaningful relationships and conquering your destiny. i realised that i'm a confrontational person when it comes to managing conflicts. shan't elaborate about that.
most meaningful take away from the seminar was definitely from the last segment... because i have learnt to...
- celebrate what's right in the world and to truly believe in it so i will be able to see it materialising eventually.
up ahead, i guess there's many more challenges coming my way like my fundraising issues. i'm thorned between implementing one effective and impactful fundraising affair. just hoping everything will come clear to me as time goes by!
but no, it has to!
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
more awaits me ahead.
it's been a long time since i've updated. lately after the makeover "debacle", i've been juggling more and more tasks on my side. talking about the makeover, i realise they are really putting in much effort in publicising this makeover affair. now i really wonder how i got myself into such a fix.
anyway, as i was saying... i'm piling up a lot more responsibilities on my shoulder. firstly, i'm taking up the role as the adventure team leader and i'm leading a team to mt ophir in june. like 'huh', you will ask. since when have i become the adventurous person and leading a team? haha i really don't know anyway too. but i guess the only constant is change. ha.. what a cliche.
besides that, i'm travelling to vietnam at the end of this year for another overseas community service trip. this time, i'll be a sales executive for the fund raising effort. a rather novel opportunity to take on tasks that i'd like to envision myself taking up in the future. just last saturday, i went to farmart in lim chu kang for a short introduction course. basically, this farmart place is a huge entity that houses the many community development (CD) concepts that can be applied to aid the needy in the 3rd world countries. we were introduced to ideas like the faith (food always in the home) garden, self reliant house and vip latrine - all of which will increase the self reliance of the users and ensure sustainability in the long term so that we are actually teaching them to fish instead of just giving them a fish to last a day. the former perception was what i had actually harboured for our previous expedition. as much as we did achieve our objectives like construction of toilets and water pumps etc., alot of the work was done by the local carpenters. there were little if not no technology and knowledge transfer. so this time, i believe after equipping ourselves with the CD concepts we learnt from farmart, our experience and presence in vietnam will be a more meaningful, fufilling and lasting one.
yesterday, during jap class our sensei taught us origami. haha, she was still saying some guys can be good at origami eh. (otokono hito wa origami ga tokuyi desune) - ya i'm shure lah. at least, she's not referring to me. i only know how to fold straw stars but other than that, i'm just too clumsy when it comes to artwork lol. i'm glad my japanese school takes effort to add some spice to our curriculum so learning japanese wouldn't be just learning the grammar and vocabulary all the time.
last but not least! my pen pal has replied to me. ha if you have read my post about my trip to philippines last year, you would have remember that i made a penpal from garing national high school. so as i was waiting and waiting, finally i received the reply from kimberly. well well, she told me that the boy we helped to deliver the drawing and letter over to his mum in singapore wanted to thank us all for what we did. i guess the biggest consolation of it all is that such gratitude is what really motivates and keeps me on to volunteer when the passion and interest is waning. it is all the more heartening when you know you have become more than a volunteer to the needy but as a friend and an aide that they can confide with.
i'm more than contented! =)
anyway, as i was saying... i'm piling up a lot more responsibilities on my shoulder. firstly, i'm taking up the role as the adventure team leader and i'm leading a team to mt ophir in june. like 'huh', you will ask. since when have i become the adventurous person and leading a team? haha i really don't know anyway too. but i guess the only constant is change. ha.. what a cliche.
besides that, i'm travelling to vietnam at the end of this year for another overseas community service trip. this time, i'll be a sales executive for the fund raising effort. a rather novel opportunity to take on tasks that i'd like to envision myself taking up in the future. just last saturday, i went to farmart in lim chu kang for a short introduction course. basically, this farmart place is a huge entity that houses the many community development (CD) concepts that can be applied to aid the needy in the 3rd world countries. we were introduced to ideas like the faith (food always in the home) garden, self reliant house and vip latrine - all of which will increase the self reliance of the users and ensure sustainability in the long term so that we are actually teaching them to fish instead of just giving them a fish to last a day. the former perception was what i had actually harboured for our previous expedition. as much as we did achieve our objectives like construction of toilets and water pumps etc., alot of the work was done by the local carpenters. there were little if not no technology and knowledge transfer. so this time, i believe after equipping ourselves with the CD concepts we learnt from farmart, our experience and presence in vietnam will be a more meaningful, fufilling and lasting one.
yesterday, during jap class our sensei taught us origami. haha, she was still saying some guys can be good at origami eh. (otokono hito wa origami ga tokuyi desune) - ya i'm shure lah. at least, she's not referring to me. i only know how to fold straw stars but other than that, i'm just too clumsy when it comes to artwork lol. i'm glad my japanese school takes effort to add some spice to our curriculum so learning japanese wouldn't be just learning the grammar and vocabulary all the time.
last but not least! my pen pal has replied to me. ha if you have read my post about my trip to philippines last year, you would have remember that i made a penpal from garing national high school. so as i was waiting and waiting, finally i received the reply from kimberly. well well, she told me that the boy we helped to deliver the drawing and letter over to his mum in singapore wanted to thank us all for what we did. i guess the biggest consolation of it all is that such gratitude is what really motivates and keeps me on to volunteer when the passion and interest is waning. it is all the more heartening when you know you have become more than a volunteer to the needy but as a friend and an aide that they can confide with.
i'm more than contented! =)
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
made over, though not thoroughly lol.
okay, today was the actual madeover session. okay lah, actually i dont feel exactly made over. mainly coz i couldnt dye my hair but only cut it short! stef, the female contestant dyed then permed her hair. made her look like some princess lah. okay not that i will look like a prince if i could play about with my hair but i believe i will certainly look different with longer and coloured hair. haha. did my hair at chapter 2, marina sq. and coincidentally, junhan and jun jiat was at there shopping also.
did the photoshoot at *scape, opp ceneleisure. was quite a good experience lah, just that i'm not one that's used to photo whoring. so some photos were nice, others not so lol. nevertheless, it was great fun lah. abit surreal like on tv but not as extreme only. hope the photos will turn out fine! dont know what's the voting thingy about but if got prize to win maybe i go ask everyone to vote for me. hahahaha. if not, i hush hush... coz so paiseh lah.
did the photoshoot at *scape, opp ceneleisure. was quite a good experience lah, just that i'm not one that's used to photo whoring. so some photos were nice, others not so lol. nevertheless, it was great fun lah. abit surreal like on tv but not as extreme only. hope the photos will turn out fine! dont know what's the voting thingy about but if got prize to win maybe i go ask everyone to vote for me. hahahaha. if not, i hush hush... coz so paiseh lah.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
omg -_-.
shoots. of late, my rather mundane life has taken a quirky twist. one day as i was randomly surfing around on the net, i chanced upon a new event www.youth.sg was organising. so it says "A free make-over from Youth.sg" Since i had nothing else better to do, i sent in a haphazardly taken picture and a short writeup of why i needed a make-over.
shucks. and guess what? i was promptly notified that i was among the 3 male contestants selected for the make-over. so today, i went shopping for 2 set of clothes with the organisers and daphne khoo, the sg idol yah... she was there as some critic lol. i thought if this was a simple one-off makeover session, well and good. i get a free haircut and some fashion know-how. clothes i think they are only loaned for the photo shoot. not a bad trade off.
but my worst nightmare had to come true. im going to get featured on the youth.sg site as one of the contestants and get voted for the favourite makeover contestant. like what so favourite not favourite lah. omg, this is so embarassing.
shucks. and guess what? i was promptly notified that i was among the 3 male contestants selected for the make-over. so today, i went shopping for 2 set of clothes with the organisers and daphne khoo, the sg idol yah... she was there as some critic lol. i thought if this was a simple one-off makeover session, well and good. i get a free haircut and some fashion know-how. clothes i think they are only loaned for the photo shoot. not a bad trade off.
but my worst nightmare had to come true. im going to get featured on the youth.sg site as one of the contestants and get voted for the favourite makeover contestant. like what so favourite not favourite lah. omg, this is so embarassing.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
teen no more!
well, bidding farewell to 2006 and ushering in 2007. can't help but feel insecure at times especially after what i realised during my short stay at footprinters' chalet just now. it's 0620h now and i just came back from the footprinters' chalet at downtown east.
i can't help but feel that joining REACH has made me learn and mature. i was talking to
for those that don't know me well (not many do anyway), i guessed ns made me changed a whole lot. now, i no longer contend living the day as it is. somehow i'm starting to tweak my psyche to that of achievement and goal oriented and focusing on the end at the beginning of every new endeavour i undertake. nyaa gold's almost done, planning to take my jlpt 3 at the end of the year, volunteering at reach again in 2007 and joining a business startup competition. i don't know if it's healthy but what really keeps me going these days are such tangibles. admittedly, sometimes i do have an agenda for doing something. but during the days at cebu, cip hours and testimonials were definitely the last thing on my mind. afterall, that's a firm personal conviction of mine.
have i grown more jaded or angsty? i seriously hope not.
maybe... it's because, i've aged.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
end of pensive mood
my "pensive-ness" is somehow drained because of the frustrations caused by the lag. there were instances when i tried to blog an entire post then i click post, an error page shown then i click back, everything's gone. anyway, footprints expedition'06 will definitely hold a significant place in my heart.
read an interesting poem on the forums... hhmm
The greatest irony of love
Loving the right person at the wrong time,
Having the wrong person when the time is right,
And finding out you love someone right after
That person walks out of your life.
And sometimes, you think you're already over a person,
Until you see them smile at you again,
You'll suddenly realize that you're really not.
For some, they think that letting go is one way
Of expressing how much you love the person,
By sacrificing your happiness for theirs,
Without realizing that the other person's
Doing the same thing for them.
Most relationships tend to fail
Not because of the absence of love;
Love is always present,
It's just that one is being loved too much
And the other was being loved too little.
We always fall in love with the person we think we love,
Only to discover that what we loved about them fades.
Bad experiences are always remembered,
But it's the wonderful memories that are captured
To remind us that there are brighter days ahead
And that happiness exists.
You need to learn to let go when you're hurting too much,
Realize that sometimes love just isn't enough
And accept the fact that things aren't always gonna be the same.
There is someone out there who will love you more.
It's all the thought you put into your decisions
That impairs your judgement
When your heart already knows what you need to do.
Listen to your heart. Even though it's on the left side, it's always right.
read an interesting poem on the forums... hhmm
The greatest irony of love
Loving the right person at the wrong time,
Having the wrong person when the time is right,
And finding out you love someone right after
That person walks out of your life.
And sometimes, you think you're already over a person,
Until you see them smile at you again,
You'll suddenly realize that you're really not.
For some, they think that letting go is one way
Of expressing how much you love the person,
By sacrificing your happiness for theirs,
Without realizing that the other person's
Doing the same thing for them.
Most relationships tend to fail
Not because of the absence of love;
Love is always present,
It's just that one is being loved too much
And the other was being loved too little.
We always fall in love with the person we think we love,
Only to discover that what we loved about them fades.
Bad experiences are always remembered,
But it's the wonderful memories that are captured
To remind us that there are brighter days ahead
And that happiness exists.
You need to learn to let go when you're hurting too much,
Realize that sometimes love just isn't enough
And accept the fact that things aren't always gonna be the same.
There is someone out there who will love you more.
It's all the thought you put into your decisions
That impairs your judgement
When your heart already knows what you need to do.
Listen to your heart. Even though it's on the left side, it's always right.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
day 4,5
Day 4,5 (Garing National High School) "The warmth and hospitality in a familiar setting"
From the slums to a high school, it was as if we endured the tough times and here we are at an environment that could shower us with more hospitality. The first programme was sort of an opening ceremony to welcome the REACH team. The high school students put up many entertaining performances for us. Indeed, I don't think they will pale in comparison with us. Duets, monologues, songs and dances. In fact, the grade1 class i took for Mathematics later in the day had one multi-talented student! She was the top grade one student, school monologue representative and in the dance team. The latest news i heard on the second day was that she was taking entrance examinations for a scholarship to college.
We were received like VIPs and our resting quarters was actually the Principal's Office. She was one very motherly figure and we can really see her genuine care and concern for the school population, teachers and students alike. In the office, we were inundated by the endless supply of food and tibits. And there were student leaders to help us. More interestingly, I made a new friend with one of them, Kim! She was like carrying the plates in and out of the office every now and then, yet with a smile on her face always. We promised to keep in contact through writing! There, a new friend found :)
I taught a grade one class mathematics, specifically the concepts of gradient and graphs. Fortunately, they were quite keen on learning. After that, we played 7-up with them. And i made them perform for us as a form of forfeit. Interaction with them was great and they were not in the least bit bashful or reluctant.
And we all had a souvenir to remind us of the days at Garing. A personalised tee shirt with our names printed on it. Will always remember Garing National High School for their warmth and hospitality. :)
From the slums to a high school, it was as if we endured the tough times and here we are at an environment that could shower us with more hospitality. The first programme was sort of an opening ceremony to welcome the REACH team. The high school students put up many entertaining performances for us. Indeed, I don't think they will pale in comparison with us. Duets, monologues, songs and dances. In fact, the grade1 class i took for Mathematics later in the day had one multi-talented student! She was the top grade one student, school monologue representative and in the dance team. The latest news i heard on the second day was that she was taking entrance examinations for a scholarship to college.
We were received like VIPs and our resting quarters was actually the Principal's Office. She was one very motherly figure and we can really see her genuine care and concern for the school population, teachers and students alike. In the office, we were inundated by the endless supply of food and tibits. And there were student leaders to help us. More interestingly, I made a new friend with one of them, Kim! She was like carrying the plates in and out of the office every now and then, yet with a smile on her face always. We promised to keep in contact through writing! There, a new friend found :)
I taught a grade one class mathematics, specifically the concepts of gradient and graphs. Fortunately, they were quite keen on learning. After that, we played 7-up with them. And i made them perform for us as a form of forfeit. Interaction with them was great and they were not in the least bit bashful or reluctant.
And we all had a souvenir to remind us of the days at Garing. A personalised tee shirt with our names printed on it. Will always remember Garing National High School for their warmth and hospitality. :)
day 2,3
Day 2,3 (Lapu Lapu City, Canjulao) "Deep into the slums, in the face of stark reality"
The day commenced with grey skies and light drizzle. And the news of the impending Typhoon Seniang (Durian) in Cebu, Philippines made many parents of the trippers worry about their safety. Fortunately, the progress of our construction projects were not hindered. So we arrived at Lapu Lapu Slum and the first task on hand was to carry hollow blocks from the alley all the way to our toilet site. For the many girls in my group, they were rather unaccustomed to the terrain and the heavy load. To make things worse, the rocks were slippery and many of them slipped and fell. Meanwhile, i tried to slow the pace down hoping this will keep spirits up.
In the afternoon, we mingled with the kids and taught them simple english. What hit me deeply were that the kids there can be really easily contented. When we started to give out sweets, all of them and i really mean ALL of them will rush in a horde towards you for the sweets as if it was a forbidden fruit or something. After Pastor Alex led the children in grace, we started the feeding programme of Day1 and we fed around 100 children a simple meal of chicken porridge and banana. Joe said his eyes were teary when he saw the look on the childrens' face, the look of sheer gratefulness and joy. At that moment, I thought to myself "With only SGD $20, we can run a feeding programme to feed 100 children and they are truly thankful" In retrospect, I can't imagine that materialising in Singapore, not in that magnitude or even the way that the children here will receive of it.
We wrapped up day 1 in a debrief at a "seafood restaurant" And during my debrief, I i stepped on the toes of the younger mentees. Sometimes, the way you relate your thoughts and views may not be as what intended. This made me learnt that I'm still really raw in the department of communication and more generally, soft skills. Like what I was sharing with Joe and Edmond, I believe i can lead my team to achieve the objectives but when it comes to managing the team dynamics and getting them to gel together, i still need alot of honing.
Day2 was almost about a mirror of Day1's programme just that we were more involved in the construction of the toilet cubicles. We were led real deep into the slums this time by Pastor Robin. Because of the rainfall the previous day, the slums became like a kampung. I had a short talk with Pastor Robin and he told me that the slums had no proper drainage system because there are no proper channels to dispose of the waste water. Petitions to the government are also ineffective because of red tape. How could the children live in such conditions? Yet, i saw the children having fun trying to hop precariously on the stones and even enjoying themselves when they step into the muddy waters.
After our feeding and food giveaway programme in the afternoon, my group people played basketball with the teens over there. They were aggressive but real good at the game. When we were walking to our van to depart from the slums. The teens came up to us and asked us for our mailing address and mobile phone numbers. Deep down, we had really built a emotional rapport with them. For me, it was with Amid and JanJan! Two days of brief contact with the people in Lapu Lapu Slums made us realise how fortunate yet uncontented we are. Maybe it's time we start redefining how we view genuine happiness.
The day commenced with grey skies and light drizzle. And the news of the impending Typhoon Seniang (Durian) in Cebu, Philippines made many parents of the trippers worry about their safety. Fortunately, the progress of our construction projects were not hindered. So we arrived at Lapu Lapu Slum and the first task on hand was to carry hollow blocks from the alley all the way to our toilet site. For the many girls in my group, they were rather unaccustomed to the terrain and the heavy load. To make things worse, the rocks were slippery and many of them slipped and fell. Meanwhile, i tried to slow the pace down hoping this will keep spirits up.
In the afternoon, we mingled with the kids and taught them simple english. What hit me deeply were that the kids there can be really easily contented. When we started to give out sweets, all of them and i really mean ALL of them will rush in a horde towards you for the sweets as if it was a forbidden fruit or something. After Pastor Alex led the children in grace, we started the feeding programme of Day1 and we fed around 100 children a simple meal of chicken porridge and banana. Joe said his eyes were teary when he saw the look on the childrens' face, the look of sheer gratefulness and joy. At that moment, I thought to myself "With only SGD $20, we can run a feeding programme to feed 100 children and they are truly thankful" In retrospect, I can't imagine that materialising in Singapore, not in that magnitude or even the way that the children here will receive of it.
We wrapped up day 1 in a debrief at a "seafood restaurant" And during my debrief, I i stepped on the toes of the younger mentees. Sometimes, the way you relate your thoughts and views may not be as what intended. This made me learnt that I'm still really raw in the department of communication and more generally, soft skills. Like what I was sharing with Joe and Edmond, I believe i can lead my team to achieve the objectives but when it comes to managing the team dynamics and getting them to gel together, i still need alot of honing.
Day2 was almost about a mirror of Day1's programme just that we were more involved in the construction of the toilet cubicles. We were led real deep into the slums this time by Pastor Robin. Because of the rainfall the previous day, the slums became like a kampung. I had a short talk with Pastor Robin and he told me that the slums had no proper drainage system because there are no proper channels to dispose of the waste water. Petitions to the government are also ineffective because of red tape. How could the children live in such conditions? Yet, i saw the children having fun trying to hop precariously on the stones and even enjoying themselves when they step into the muddy waters.
After our feeding and food giveaway programme in the afternoon, my group people played basketball with the teens over there. They were aggressive but real good at the game. When we were walking to our van to depart from the slums. The teens came up to us and asked us for our mailing address and mobile phone numbers. Deep down, we had really built a emotional rapport with them. For me, it was with Amid and JanJan! Two days of brief contact with the people in Lapu Lapu Slums made us realise how fortunate yet uncontented we are. Maybe it's time we start redefining how we view genuine happiness.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
day 1
Day 1 (YMCA hostel, Cebu City) "Checking in"
When we touched down at Mactan International Airport, we were welcomed with a banner and the warm locals. We checked in at a budget tourist inn - YMCA Hostel. I guessed many of the footprinters were aghast at the living conditions in the hostel. The extremely cramped living quarters, the dim ceiling lights and the whole overall feel of the hostel as if, a remnant of the world war proved to be the first shock to the footprinters.
Pace of things picked up very quickly as the respective project I/Cs were tasked to discuss the project details over breakfast. I met my pastor in charge of the Lapu Lapu project - Pastor Alex. To be frank, until now I still have not a clear character judge of him. However throughout the whole trip, he was like a mentor to me guiding and watching every single detail that can possibly go awry. On the other hand, the other trippers have an impression that PA is taking advantage of us. Whatever is the case, I guess as long as our primary objective is fufilled - to feed the people on hand and assist in the construction, everything has worked through.
Sitting in the rear of the mini cab was as though sitting in a lorry in Singapore just that i felt the air in Cebu was more polluted. In the afternoon, we proceeded to purchase the raw materials required for our feeding programme and construction project. Everything was falling into place from the planning that started about a month ago and i was glad no major hiccups occured thus far. My other team members and i went to the actual site to do a reccee. The undulating terrain, the slippery descendings from rocks and what not - all were part of the path that my entire team had to trek through for the construction project tomorrow.
Sunset in Cebu was something that took us a while to get used. At around 1730h, the sun was already setting. And at 1800h, the skies were as dark as what we have at 2000h in Singapore. After clarifying any other doubts with PA with regards to the construction project, we dragged our fatigue selves back to YMCA Hostel. Following which, i did a project briefing to my group members on what to expect the following day. An early rest for two days of toiling was certainly warranted.
When we touched down at Mactan International Airport, we were welcomed with a banner and the warm locals. We checked in at a budget tourist inn - YMCA Hostel. I guessed many of the footprinters were aghast at the living conditions in the hostel. The extremely cramped living quarters, the dim ceiling lights and the whole overall feel of the hostel as if, a remnant of the world war proved to be the first shock to the footprinters.
Pace of things picked up very quickly as the respective project I/Cs were tasked to discuss the project details over breakfast. I met my pastor in charge of the Lapu Lapu project - Pastor Alex. To be frank, until now I still have not a clear character judge of him. However throughout the whole trip, he was like a mentor to me guiding and watching every single detail that can possibly go awry. On the other hand, the other trippers have an impression that PA is taking advantage of us. Whatever is the case, I guess as long as our primary objective is fufilled - to feed the people on hand and assist in the construction, everything has worked through.
Sitting in the rear of the mini cab was as though sitting in a lorry in Singapore just that i felt the air in Cebu was more polluted. In the afternoon, we proceeded to purchase the raw materials required for our feeding programme and construction project. Everything was falling into place from the planning that started about a month ago and i was glad no major hiccups occured thus far. My other team members and i went to the actual site to do a reccee. The undulating terrain, the slippery descendings from rocks and what not - all were part of the path that my entire team had to trek through for the construction project tomorrow.
Sunset in Cebu was something that took us a while to get used. At around 1730h, the sun was already setting. And at 1800h, the skies were as dark as what we have at 2000h in Singapore. After clarifying any other doubts with PA with regards to the construction project, we dragged our fatigue selves back to YMCA Hostel. Following which, i did a project briefing to my group members on what to expect the following day. An early rest for two days of toiling was certainly warranted.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Phil trip - prologue
Footprints '06 Expedition in Cebu, Philippines
(The Prologue)
Maayong Buntag! (Good Afternoon in Cebuano).
I have just returned from a 10 days, 9 nights expedition cum community service trip in Cebu, Philippines. This short trip was more than just a blue sky holiday for me, it was a trip of personal growth, thoughts and reflections. Indeed, i feel extremely fufilled and rewarded both in tangible and intangible terms. If i were to blog my entire Cebu experience in a single entry in one single attempt, it will be less than complete and certainly too lengthy for me and you yah. So i've decided to blog this wonderful experience as if i'm writing a novel. As of now, we are consolidating the pictures from the trip and i'll start posting entries in chronological order for you to sneak a peek at what i did in Cebu and for myself so that down the road one day when i am reading these entries, the memories i had in Cebu will still be fresh and vivid!
Contents
Day 1 (YMCA hostel, Cebu City) "Checking in"
a) Touched down in Philipines at around 5.30 am. Travelled to our living quarters at YMCA and project I/Cs started to discuss with their respective pastors about the greater details of their project.
b) Went to Lapu Lapu Slum to do a site recce after purchasing the raw materials required for the programme the following days.
Day 2,3 (Lapu Lapu City, Canjulao) "Deep into the slums, in the face of stark reality"
Led a team of 9 other mentors and mentees to
a) Assist in the construction of two toilet cubicles and two toilet pumps. These infrastructure will serve the 300 families living in the slums.
b) Run a feeding programme to feed 100 children for two days and a give-away programme on the second day. Feeding programme on Day 2 consisted of a bowl of chicken porridge and a banana each while Day 3's was a bowl of chocolate porridge with banana. The give-away programme for 100 pax consisted of a food pack of 2kg rice, 2 packets of instant noodles and a can of sardines.
c) Played simple games, sang songs like "london bridge", "twinkle" and taught them simple English songs. Not forgetting playing basketball with my buddies over there at Lapu Lapu - Amid and Jan Jan!
d) Home visit
Day 4,5 (Garing National High School) "The warmth and hospitality in a familiar setting"
a) Assisted in the construction of an extension of a school shelter and school clinic.
b) Taught grade one students (equivalent of Secondary 1) Mathematics, more specifically gradients and graphs. After that, we played with them games like '7-up', 'charades' and musical chairs
c) Shared with 100 over students about my dreams and aspirations.
d) Home visit to a grade one student's house. Communication was all thanks to my favourite and trusted fourth year student leader, KIM! She was really nice in telling me more about the school and being our translator during the home visit! Fret not, you'll always be remembered and contacted by me! :)
Day 6 (Jesus Healer's Fellowship Church) "Sunday Service"
a) Attended service but more as of an observer. Tears welled up in my eyes as Joe was praying for those Christians that went up to him.
b) Watched 'Casino Royale' with Joe and some other mentors.
Day 7, 8 (Cantipla Mountains) "Where sheer grit and determination overcame the chills"
a) Assisted in the construction of a water tank and laying of ridiculously long water hoses. Undoubtedly, the most physically demanding project of all. Had to help in the moving of hollow blocks, sand and gravel. Then we helped to fill the embankment with soil for what lasted like 3-4 hours.
b) Ran a Christmas party for the 100 kids and their families. Crowd control for me was a nerve wrecking task in face of these kids!
Day 9 (On the sea) "The getaway on a yatch"
a) Sightseeing along the Coast of Manila (not too sure about the name)
b) Snorkelling in the sparkling clear waters and saw the spectacular starfishes and corals. As though i tuned into Discovery Channel!
c) Jetski with a close friend that i made during the trip. The reflections of the rainbows on the water surface and the feeling of having wind blow into our faces at high speed - all etched deeply in my memories. Second jetski attempt with Guiquan was nerve wrecking and horrendous. We overturned three times and the instructor was even laughing at us. Worst thing was we got stung by jellyfishes!
Day 10 (Cebu Shalom Centre, Lapu Lapu Slums) "Departure day, of tears and unwillingness"
a) Did a final site visit to both project sites of which one i was taking charge of. Saw the constructed toilet cubicles and water pumps and was showered with words of thanks and gifts.
Indeed, the impact i left in the lives of the people i've touched in this short stint at Cebu was far greater than i had expected. Apart from the gifts i had bought for myself, friends and familiy in Singapore, I brought a big pack of gifts. From the well thought-of letters, intricate gifts and warm smiles and handshake from the people alike, we were not just mere volunteers from Singapore. But we became their "special friend" and "best friend" and they even promised "they will await our return to Philippines one day"
As a matter of fact, I've heard many quote worthy statements during this trip. Perhaps i'll share one to close this prologue of mine. This was from my social worker in charge, Joe. He said,
" the greatest gift you can give to the people is yourself, not the bowls of porridge, food packs or even the presents you brought for the kids. "
In this aspect, i certainly believe we have all succeeded. We gave them our heart, love and attention and we were duly reciprocated with the warm handshakes, grateful words of thanks and the loads of gifts. Touched and grateful we are for our efforts in the physical work and attempts in human interaction paid of!
Footprints' 06 Expedition at Cebu has made me realise and know of Philippines not only as a land where domestic helpers in Singapore hail from but more so; a land of smiles and hospitality, cherished experiences and fond memories.
(To be continued!)
(The Prologue)
Maayong Buntag! (Good Afternoon in Cebuano).
I have just returned from a 10 days, 9 nights expedition cum community service trip in Cebu, Philippines. This short trip was more than just a blue sky holiday for me, it was a trip of personal growth, thoughts and reflections. Indeed, i feel extremely fufilled and rewarded both in tangible and intangible terms. If i were to blog my entire Cebu experience in a single entry in one single attempt, it will be less than complete and certainly too lengthy for me and you yah. So i've decided to blog this wonderful experience as if i'm writing a novel. As of now, we are consolidating the pictures from the trip and i'll start posting entries in chronological order for you to sneak a peek at what i did in Cebu and for myself so that down the road one day when i am reading these entries, the memories i had in Cebu will still be fresh and vivid!
Contents
Day 1 (YMCA hostel, Cebu City) "Checking in"
a) Touched down in Philipines at around 5.30 am. Travelled to our living quarters at YMCA and project I/Cs started to discuss with their respective pastors about the greater details of their project.
b) Went to Lapu Lapu Slum to do a site recce after purchasing the raw materials required for the programme the following days.
Day 2,3 (Lapu Lapu City, Canjulao) "Deep into the slums, in the face of stark reality"
Led a team of 9 other mentors and mentees to
a) Assist in the construction of two toilet cubicles and two toilet pumps. These infrastructure will serve the 300 families living in the slums.
b) Run a feeding programme to feed 100 children for two days and a give-away programme on the second day. Feeding programme on Day 2 consisted of a bowl of chicken porridge and a banana each while Day 3's was a bowl of chocolate porridge with banana. The give-away programme for 100 pax consisted of a food pack of 2kg rice, 2 packets of instant noodles and a can of sardines.
c) Played simple games, sang songs like "london bridge", "twinkle" and taught them simple English songs. Not forgetting playing basketball with my buddies over there at Lapu Lapu - Amid and Jan Jan!
d) Home visit
Day 4,5 (Garing National High School) "The warmth and hospitality in a familiar setting"
a) Assisted in the construction of an extension of a school shelter and school clinic.
b) Taught grade one students (equivalent of Secondary 1) Mathematics, more specifically gradients and graphs. After that, we played with them games like '7-up', 'charades' and musical chairs
c) Shared with 100 over students about my dreams and aspirations.
d) Home visit to a grade one student's house. Communication was all thanks to my favourite and trusted fourth year student leader, KIM! She was really nice in telling me more about the school and being our translator during the home visit! Fret not, you'll always be remembered and contacted by me! :)
Day 6 (Jesus Healer's Fellowship Church) "Sunday Service"
a) Attended service but more as of an observer. Tears welled up in my eyes as Joe was praying for those Christians that went up to him.
b) Watched 'Casino Royale' with Joe and some other mentors.
Day 7, 8 (Cantipla Mountains) "Where sheer grit and determination overcame the chills"
a) Assisted in the construction of a water tank and laying of ridiculously long water hoses. Undoubtedly, the most physically demanding project of all. Had to help in the moving of hollow blocks, sand and gravel. Then we helped to fill the embankment with soil for what lasted like 3-4 hours.
b) Ran a Christmas party for the 100 kids and their families. Crowd control for me was a nerve wrecking task in face of these kids!
Day 9 (On the sea) "The getaway on a yatch"
a) Sightseeing along the Coast of Manila (not too sure about the name)
b) Snorkelling in the sparkling clear waters and saw the spectacular starfishes and corals. As though i tuned into Discovery Channel!
c) Jetski with a close friend that i made during the trip. The reflections of the rainbows on the water surface and the feeling of having wind blow into our faces at high speed - all etched deeply in my memories. Second jetski attempt with Guiquan was nerve wrecking and horrendous. We overturned three times and the instructor was even laughing at us. Worst thing was we got stung by jellyfishes!
Day 10 (Cebu Shalom Centre, Lapu Lapu Slums) "Departure day, of tears and unwillingness"
a) Did a final site visit to both project sites of which one i was taking charge of. Saw the constructed toilet cubicles and water pumps and was showered with words of thanks and gifts.
Indeed, the impact i left in the lives of the people i've touched in this short stint at Cebu was far greater than i had expected. Apart from the gifts i had bought for myself, friends and familiy in Singapore, I brought a big pack of gifts. From the well thought-of letters, intricate gifts and warm smiles and handshake from the people alike, we were not just mere volunteers from Singapore. But we became their "special friend" and "best friend" and they even promised "they will await our return to Philippines one day"
As a matter of fact, I've heard many quote worthy statements during this trip. Perhaps i'll share one to close this prologue of mine. This was from my social worker in charge, Joe. He said,
" the greatest gift you can give to the people is yourself, not the bowls of porridge, food packs or even the presents you brought for the kids. "
In this aspect, i certainly believe we have all succeeded. We gave them our heart, love and attention and we were duly reciprocated with the warm handshakes, grateful words of thanks and the loads of gifts. Touched and grateful we are for our efforts in the physical work and attempts in human interaction paid of!
Footprints' 06 Expedition at Cebu has made me realise and know of Philippines not only as a land where domestic helpers in Singapore hail from but more so; a land of smiles and hospitality, cherished experiences and fond memories.
(To be continued!)
Monday, November 13, 2006
to te mo tired.
i'm so tired, bleahs. workload from everywhere's piling onto me or maybe cause im a poor manager of time. but im as usual, feeling rather ambivalent. on one hand, i should feel very fufilled because my time inside camp is used up wisely by my commitments outside. on the other hand, i feel quite empty even though im so tied down. i dont know whether that's characteristic of a sagittarian ehs. let's hope not.
my friends in camp have said they pale to me in comparison to them in terms of how we all utilise all time and spend our lives and they said i live a rather fufilling life because my time is spent on volunteering, planning for my trip and event and learning japanese. sometimes, i dont know the reason for engaging so many different tasks at the same time. the ambitious streak in me? it strikes ever so often, especially so lately. as if my schedule is not packed enough, i signed up for a fund raising workshop next weekend from 9-5 each day and making up my japanese class which is supposedly on sunday, on my birthday.
next week proves to me to a hectic one for me. tuesday, i've to present a proposal to the commanding officer (co) and all the other big shots officers about the kayaking competition which im pushing it to a squadron level event. presentations shouldnt be too difficult for me lest the minor hiccups here and there during my presentation that i hope will be kept to the barest minimal!
also on my to-do list...
1) to find the quotations for logistical transport and trophies for my event.
2) liase with pastor alex for the project i'm taking charge in philippines (to build a toilet cubicle, 2 x water pumps and running a feeding programme - porridge with egg for 100 families!)
3) doing up a master log list
4) sourcing for sponsorships for prizes and thinking of possible prizes
5) trip preparation in terms of exchanging currency
6) get vaccinated.
that's for my expedition alone. what's more, i'm also the treasurer for de:xufto 07 camp for scouts next year and i'm procrastinating much on this. havent done up the template and started budgetting.
as of now, i feel like a giant balloon waiting to be pricked. so full on the outside, but so empty in the inside? i bought fish leong's latest album, it's great to listen to these therapeutic tunes.
my friends in camp have said they pale to me in comparison to them in terms of how we all utilise all time and spend our lives and they said i live a rather fufilling life because my time is spent on volunteering, planning for my trip and event and learning japanese. sometimes, i dont know the reason for engaging so many different tasks at the same time. the ambitious streak in me? it strikes ever so often, especially so lately. as if my schedule is not packed enough, i signed up for a fund raising workshop next weekend from 9-5 each day and making up my japanese class which is supposedly on sunday, on my birthday.
next week proves to me to a hectic one for me. tuesday, i've to present a proposal to the commanding officer (co) and all the other big shots officers about the kayaking competition which im pushing it to a squadron level event. presentations shouldnt be too difficult for me lest the minor hiccups here and there during my presentation that i hope will be kept to the barest minimal!
also on my to-do list...
1) to find the quotations for logistical transport and trophies for my event.
2) liase with pastor alex for the project i'm taking charge in philippines (to build a toilet cubicle, 2 x water pumps and running a feeding programme - porridge with egg for 100 families!)
3) doing up a master log list
4) sourcing for sponsorships for prizes and thinking of possible prizes
5) trip preparation in terms of exchanging currency
6) get vaccinated.
that's for my expedition alone. what's more, i'm also the treasurer for de:xufto 07 camp for scouts next year and i'm procrastinating much on this. havent done up the template and started budgetting.
as of now, i feel like a giant balloon waiting to be pricked. so full on the outside, but so empty in the inside? i bought fish leong's latest album, it's great to listen to these therapeutic tunes.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
hodgepodge of muses.
today wasn't a real pleasant one for me. i got wronged for something i shouldn't be faulted for and i had to take the rap lest there would have been worse repurcussions. fortunately or rightfully, i didnt received any punishments in form of extras or anything. but i believe it's alright, tomorrow shall be a better day :) shall always take heed of what i learnt from qianhua jie jie i.e. to face the worse with the best feelings.
that aside, my life has gotten a tad more fufilling. jap classes started last sunday and i'm glad i had started all over from elementary 1 because my 1.5 year of jap basics barely allowed me to get through the first lesson. seemingly, my class profile is also rather cosmopolitan in the sense that we have malaysians, indonesians and singaporeans studying jap. apparently, my bunkmates have said that i'm hardworking and really into the process of self enrichment and they seem inspired too. good thing eh, i'm a positive externality!
speaking about economics, i borrowed two books yesterday. one's freakonomics while another is about hard hitter selling. i believe these two genres in general are really intriguing and appealing to me. freakonomics has been a good book so far as the author, steve levitt, deciphers certain myths from an economic point of view and using economics as a social science to investigate certain conventional wisdom. and did you actually realise that 'the apprentice' season premiere commenced on sunday night too. impressive credentials (harvard biz sch, young entrepreneurs, attorney and what not) were but ubiquitous in the show. but what really wowed me was that they were vocal, confident and had this air of professionalism and 'zai-ness' around them, especially when they were hawking memberships as part of the first round competition to consumers. sales and retails, remain as one of the field i'm passionate in. i believe it's a challenging one as you have to take into account many factors e.g. product knowledge, body language, communication competency etc. so that your consumers will be bought into buying your product! and my second book does shed some light on it. haha, but i hope it wont be yet another leisure read and may i pick up another thing or two.
something that left me thinking occured yesterday while i was leaving from my grandma's house after visiting her. an old folk was pushing his cycle while the front basket was filled by items like screwdrivers, pot and a saw. he gave me a meek smile while i tried to give way to him along the narrow path. he then tried to mount on the bike but lost his balance in the process and fell sideways. fortunately, it wasn't really a bad fall. but it dawned upon me that as one gets older, one becomes more vulnerable and precarious to accidents. what if this old folk (touch wood) had a bad fall into the drain and no one noticed? i shudder at that thought and the very sight. in fact, all the while i always have this sort of emotional attachment towards the elderly. be it during dramas or in reality, they always display this sort of vulnerability and the desire to be taken care by someone but it doesn't really happen. and when it really doesn't happen and something bad happens to them, there's always this feeling of 'xin suan' or rather your heart feels for this old folk and that you feel you should do a little something for him or her. yet all the more, i (we) often negelect my(our) own folks and take their presence for granted.
轻轻的亲亲
紧紧闭著眼睛
是你不是你说不定
还不一定.
that aside, my life has gotten a tad more fufilling. jap classes started last sunday and i'm glad i had started all over from elementary 1 because my 1.5 year of jap basics barely allowed me to get through the first lesson. seemingly, my class profile is also rather cosmopolitan in the sense that we have malaysians, indonesians and singaporeans studying jap. apparently, my bunkmates have said that i'm hardworking and really into the process of self enrichment and they seem inspired too. good thing eh, i'm a positive externality!
speaking about economics, i borrowed two books yesterday. one's freakonomics while another is about hard hitter selling. i believe these two genres in general are really intriguing and appealing to me. freakonomics has been a good book so far as the author, steve levitt, deciphers certain myths from an economic point of view and using economics as a social science to investigate certain conventional wisdom. and did you actually realise that 'the apprentice' season premiere commenced on sunday night too. impressive credentials (harvard biz sch, young entrepreneurs, attorney and what not) were but ubiquitous in the show. but what really wowed me was that they were vocal, confident and had this air of professionalism and 'zai-ness' around them, especially when they were hawking memberships as part of the first round competition to consumers. sales and retails, remain as one of the field i'm passionate in. i believe it's a challenging one as you have to take into account many factors e.g. product knowledge, body language, communication competency etc. so that your consumers will be bought into buying your product! and my second book does shed some light on it. haha, but i hope it wont be yet another leisure read and may i pick up another thing or two.
something that left me thinking occured yesterday while i was leaving from my grandma's house after visiting her. an old folk was pushing his cycle while the front basket was filled by items like screwdrivers, pot and a saw. he gave me a meek smile while i tried to give way to him along the narrow path. he then tried to mount on the bike but lost his balance in the process and fell sideways. fortunately, it wasn't really a bad fall. but it dawned upon me that as one gets older, one becomes more vulnerable and precarious to accidents. what if this old folk (touch wood) had a bad fall into the drain and no one noticed? i shudder at that thought and the very sight. in fact, all the while i always have this sort of emotional attachment towards the elderly. be it during dramas or in reality, they always display this sort of vulnerability and the desire to be taken care by someone but it doesn't really happen. and when it really doesn't happen and something bad happens to them, there's always this feeling of 'xin suan' or rather your heart feels for this old folk and that you feel you should do a little something for him or her. yet all the more, i (we) often negelect my(our) own folks and take their presence for granted.
轻轻的亲亲
紧紧闭著眼睛
是你不是你说不定
还不一定.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
stalled life no more.
it's been some time since i last updated my blog. of late, blogging or rather writing in general has taken a toll on me. in camp, i'm inundated with tons of documentation to be re-written and re-forged. and it doesnt just ends there. everytime changes are made, my friends and i have to repeat the whole process again. just hope to get things done and over with.
yesterday, i went to delfi orchard to sign up for my elementary 1 japanese course. i'm so motivated to master japanese and attain my qualifications. also, i was informed by joe from ReachFSC that the dates for the ocip has been finalised. it's from the 4/12 to 14/12 at philipines, cebu! i have no idea what will be in store for me over at cebu, but i'll be certain i'll go there with an open heart to look, learn and empathise. afterall, what can beat being there and understanding the situation in first hand? not the excerpts from those that went before nor the documentaries on television. more importantly, i hope to gain a new direction in life, to be more aware of what i want and what i have.
yesterday, i went to delfi orchard to sign up for my elementary 1 japanese course. i'm so motivated to master japanese and attain my qualifications. also, i was informed by joe from ReachFSC that the dates for the ocip has been finalised. it's from the 4/12 to 14/12 at philipines, cebu! i have no idea what will be in store for me over at cebu, but i'll be certain i'll go there with an open heart to look, learn and empathise. afterall, what can beat being there and understanding the situation in first hand? not the excerpts from those that went before nor the documentaries on television. more importantly, i hope to gain a new direction in life, to be more aware of what i want and what i have.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
a-k-e-e-l-a-h
finally the three gruelling days of range is gone. missed my marksman and 200 bucks bleah.
day shoot - 8/16
night shoot 10/12
4 short!
anyway, i watched akeelah and the bee on wednesday. really liked that show alot for it's really inspiring and it makes you learn.
taken from the movie,
"Our Deepest Fear" by Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate -
our deepest fear is that
we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be
brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'
Actually, who are you not to be?
day shoot - 8/16
night shoot 10/12
4 short!
anyway, i watched akeelah and the bee on wednesday. really liked that show alot for it's really inspiring and it makes you learn.
taken from the movie,
"Our Deepest Fear" by Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate -
our deepest fear is that
we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be
brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'
Actually, who are you not to be?
Monday, September 04, 2006
of tears with a bitter aftertaste
my first aunt passed away last week and just yesterday i was at the columbarium at guang ming shan with my family and immediate relatives. in fact, i was also there to be part of the chantings for the dead on saturday night. to be frank, i am not very closed to this first aunt of mine. but this incident made me realised my usual rather fragmented extended family (meaning my aunts, uncles and cousins) arent that distant afterall. i didnt really cry and my elder sister always say i can always maintain my composure or put it in a crude way - i'm callous. but that aside, i witness the softer side of my relatives that attended the wake.
i guess my grandma was the most affected one. imagining sending your own daughter off or rather what the chinese say "bai fa ren song hei fa ren" it's not frequent that you see one's eyes red swollen and teary but it kinda hurts my heart to see such a scene too. fortunately my grandpa who's in an old folks' home isnt informed as he's suffering from mild dementia. maybe it proves the adage - ignore is bliss, is true afterall.
when the floodgates break open, tears just keep pouring.
i guess my grandma was the most affected one. imagining sending your own daughter off or rather what the chinese say "bai fa ren song hei fa ren" it's not frequent that you see one's eyes red swollen and teary but it kinda hurts my heart to see such a scene too. fortunately my grandpa who's in an old folks' home isnt informed as he's suffering from mild dementia. maybe it proves the adage - ignore is bliss, is true afterall.
when the floodgates break open, tears just keep pouring.
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