reddish brown... white.

I shouldn't be blogging right now in the office after a hearty lunch, but what the heck. I need to pump some blood to my brain lest i get drowsy with the downflow of blood to digest all the (sinful) food.

And you maybe thinking, what the hell is the title about. I have little inkling as to that, maybe my creative juices are not that plentiful as before. But as you can see, this is the first time I'm actually putting some effort into punctuation. Not that I'm feeling abnormal but rather, I'm feeling kind of perky today. Read on and you'll know why.

Anyway, I was walking towards Hong Lim Complex having heard of the famous Char Kway Teow which people will die to satisfy their palates with. And as I was crossing the road, I saw an old man whose back was facing me. The first thing that caught my eyes was that his long black pants was below the waist and exposing his underpants (or those traditional type of boxers old people wear). To make things worse, the second thing I saw was his hands were as if held together at his crotch from the back and jerking (damn, no pun intended). I was like thinking "What the hell?!?" And so I tried to pull off an ingenious subterfuge to know what this elderly man was actually doing along the road outside Hong Lim Park. I took a 180 degree turn to pretend to "beo" at the young lady who was just some distance down the road, behind him.

I saw his hands this time... not at his crotch as I thought, but rather his trembling hands were struggling to fasten his belt and pants that were falling. I walked a few more steps, hesistated for a while, then I walked back to ask if he needed help. Not that I'm medically informed, but I guess it should have been Parkinsons or some old age related ailments that were causing the deterioration of his movements. In any case, I pulled up his pants on both side so he could fasten his belt. Subsequently, I hailed a taxi for him and helped him in. And throughout the whole process, he was drooling uncontrollably. So much so that the taxi driver was kinda pissed. And so much so that I could feel the vulnerability and helplessness emanating from his aged and frail physique. Then I left for Hong Lim Complex for the raved rice noodle, feeling a tad heartened with my act.

And during lunch, I somehow ended up in small talk with the sugar cane aunty who was telling me about her difficulties in running a stall at Hong Lim Complex despite her sugarcane drink being famed as the most "xiang" and "tian". And then as I was polishing off the remaining bits of noodle on the plate, we ending our conversation with her advising me to be a filial son and that no one can be closer to you than your own mother. Wise words of wisdom indeed.

Also, I realised that Hong Lim/Chinatown area is actually a landscape typified by the aged. For example, I saw old uncles and aunties cycling precariously with stacks of cardboard to a central collection point for some dough. Then with every few steps I take, I see people with natural white hair. And it dawned upon me that white is a sign of fraility, acquiescence and a kind of poignance that draws me towards it so insidiously.

Then what does reddish brown signify? Compassion, idealism and ambition but with unbridled brashness at times?

You tell me then.

i'd never let you go, would i?

a special friendship.

when you're going to start a new internship term for the very first time in your life in 5 hours time and yet you realised you have just spent the past few hours drinking and clubbing, you will kinda be hesitant as to whether you should actually go to sleep now lest the 'snooze' function on your phone becomes your next best friend. but that's surely not the special friendship i'm talking about.

a self-confessed mild conservative (but no where near a prude), i was and never am a party animal. but i'm pretty open to drinking and partying as a form of winding out, though sometimes i seek it as a form of liberation. anyway, that's besides the whole point.

at this point of time, i really feel very glad to have my first best female platonic friend - qh. and i think our friendship has really transcended beyond that of normal friends, be it of the same or different gender. so much so that we have grown to take care and be there for one another when the need arises. she has become my image consultant, which requires not much deliberation since it was never top on my agenda list. while i've become her listening ear and nanny, to keep her in check especially when she drinks. little would i have imagine our friendship will have developed to such a stage whereby we can be reiminiscent of our past, conscious of the present and hopeful of the future. and that she would dig out my unglam track record by telling others i tried to ask her out to donate blood for a first date (quit laughing).

and this would be the kind of friendship i believe will stand the test of time and distance, especially so as she'll be travelling to the states for studies. as much as i would like to have this special friend with me in sillypore, i believe the world is really our oyster and that we should seize the opportunity when it comes or so i thought - carpe diem.

to my special friend: hope we both can learn to be more aware and accquainted with our true selves and that we can find fulfilment and happiness in whatever we undertake. indeed, our friendship will last beyond mere ocips and for the many years to come! treasure the few months ahead to catch up before we won't be seeing each other for quite some time ha.

take care and avoid feeling spaced out, every so often.

parenting - a process to nurture or a slippery slope.

having touched down at 10pm on new year's eve, i wouldn't really expect myself to be blogging now and about such a weighty, i mean burdensome, issue. (i've learnt my lessons on puns after realising that there are ppl like moonkey that will take note of the finer nuances even if they come unintended)

well, this issue came to me in fact after sitting in a discussion of my cousins with my family. apparently, my cousins somehow are all residing in rather "incomplete" and "unwholesome" families, so to speak. and that apparently, we've became worried as to how and what kind of individuals they'll grow up into. that is not to say my family is an ideal and conducive one. in true fact, i do have much gripes about how i was brought up. but maybe, i like to look for solutions more than solely (thanks anonymous for your finesse in spotting my typos =p) deliberating on the cause and effect cycle in itself.

and as the debate progressed, i was interestingly changing my sides between my parents and siblings. my parents being conservative and bred by the old school kind of parenting, like to impose their old lifestyle and habits on us. on the other hand, my siblings are fond of making comparisons with their peers and fixing the apparent flaws of my family from the standards of their peers yet again. for me, i realised long ago if it's broken, fix it. but if it's broken beyond repair, it's timely to shop for a new one. seriously, what's the whole point of brooding over the past when the wisest thing to do is to pave a future that is laid with the foundation from the mistakes made in the past. and hence with my belief, it was interesting to see how the debate becomes heated and the dichotomy between the two camps.

notwithstanding, i think parenting is really a journey of life in itself. one which you start to mould and nurture a new life, one that is prone to making wrong turns at the crossroads, one that may be potentially rewarding or regretful. just looking at the news itself - the divorce rates, latchkey children, youth at risks, unwed mums and what not. and it seems to me not everyone is aware of the heavy responsibility one will undertake in bringing a new life to this world. not that i've fully grasped. but as i grow to be more aware, i've also grown to be more apprehensive of life 10, 20, 30 years down the road especially when i will take on more functions in life. will i falter in my functions or take heart that i've laid the tiny stepping stones that lead in the right direction.

or maybe, i'm thinking far too far ahead.
oyasuminasai.