a personalised souvenir!

teen no more!

well, bidding farewell to 2006 and ushering in 2007. can't help but feel insecure at times especially after what i realised during my short stay at footprinters' chalet just now. it's 0620h now and i just came back from the footprinters' chalet at downtown east.

i can't help but feel that joining REACH has made me learn and mature. i was talking to edmond, joe and joyce. apparently being the most senior youth mentors there, we were talking about our dreams and aspirations though it's rather usual cliche stuff yah. it's been long or rather i've never really had the oppoprtunity or rather the right conversational partners to talk about such topics. maybe my life had been rather banal before 2006. so we chatted all the way till joe fetched me to tpy and joyce to nus back. as i was talking with joyce just now, she told me she said we really age very fast, now we're 20 already. for a moment, i thought i was still 19 ... till i realised it's 2007 AD already. aghast, shocked, apprehensive or ambivalent? so many feelings lah. quarter-life crisis really sucks. to make things worse, joe and edmond were asking us what we want to do in the future and if we were to look back at what we are doing now when we are at 40... will we be happy? i guess i'll really relish this experience and the friends i made at reach thus far.

for those that don't know me well (not many do anyway), i guessed ns made me changed a whole lot. now, i no longer contend living the day as it is. somehow i'm starting to tweak my psyche to that of achievement and goal oriented and focusing on the end at the beginning of every new endeavour i undertake. nyaa gold's almost done, planning to take my jlpt 3 at the end of the year, volunteering at reach again in 2007 and joining a business startup competition. i don't know if it's healthy but what really keeps me going these days are such tangibles. admittedly, sometimes i do have an agenda for doing something. but during the days at cebu, cip hours and testimonials were definitely the last thing on my mind. afterall, that's a firm personal conviction of mine.

have i grown more jaded or angsty? i seriously hope not.

maybe... it's because, i've aged.